Housemate disputes happen and at some point whilst living with housemates you’re more than likely going to fall out.
Housemate disputes are part of life
Learn to confront difficult situations
In the past you may have had disputes with family members, friends, work colleagues, or even teachers, yet it’s how you deal with these situations that will set you apart from the rest.
Compatibility amongst one another is key. You will find that some people are easier to get along with than others and that’s okay!
Everybody is different. It’s what makes you unique. However, not everybody is going to get on with everyone. Learning to accept that we are all different helps you to understand and be more patient with one another.
As individual students arriving together at your new home, you will have all travelled a different journey to get there. You will have all come from different backgrounds and some carrying more baggage than others.
Embrace this diversity that you have as housemates and communicate with one another. You may even find that you learn something new about yourself in the process.
Your mate, but a good housemate?
A mate in the bar may be great for a night out, though may not be the best housemate.
You may find upon moving in that they may be untidy, play loud music, drown out your quiet background music, or even disturb you as you attempt to study for your dissertation, lectures, seminars, or exams. Their late-night parties, or outbursts may even disturb you nightly Netflix binge!
Choose your housemates wisely. Accept that their views, however extreme and opposite they may be to yours, because they are still their strongly held views – regardless of yours – and to hold views, however backwards they may appear, needs to be understood and respected.
Your housemate next door plays loud music. Resist the temptation to turn your music up to drown theirs out. Frequently this results in escalating loud music and both of you then become the problem having both contributed.
Don’t retaliate. Instead attempt to reason, though choose your moment wisely so as not to increase the tension.
Learning to be tolerant can help you manage and minimise tense situations.
Think before you act
Don’t explode in the heat of the moment!
Anger outbursts are unpleasant, disturbing for others and unwise on your part. Avoid long-term negative environments in your house and take a deep breath. You still have to live together!
Passive aggressive behaviour might include slamming doors when you disagree – you may demonstrate your emotions with a slammed door instead of gentle words. Learn to live and let live.
If you know your behaviour is annoying to another, don’t continue to be annoying. Instead attempt to modify your behaviour to suit your housemates ability to cope. However, do not allow others in your house to control your every move. Learn to compromise with one another. It’s for the best!
A small change on your part could make all the difference to someone else and you will never know how much so unless you give it a go!
Life and getting along is a delicate balance. Being angry and reacting aggressively is a choice. Choose do the right thing. If you are easily annoyed you are more likely to react negatively than to respond calmly. Learn to recognise these traits and make changes in your own life to be a better version of yourself.
People often argue over misperceptions. One person says something innocently and another interprets it negatively – imagining it was conveyed differently to the way it was meant.
When you are told it was not meant “that way” accept that this is the case. Allow them the benefit of the doubt. You’re only human and people make mistakes.
Landlords tend not to get involved in housemate disputes, except when it starts to involve the tenancy. It is unwise for landlords to become involved in housemate disputes between tenants because this can prevent them from being impartial in favour of one tenant(s) issues over another.
Do you need help at university? Student welfare departments where support can be sought can be found at most universities should you need it.
Alternatively, if you wish to speak to one of our team, then you are more than welcome to do so.